Choosing Adoption: Questions to Consider
Here are a few things to think about before you begin your adoption plan or start searching for a family to raise your baby.
What type of adoption do I want?There are three types of adoption. Open adoption, closed adoption and semi-open adoption. Before choosing, consider these questions. Would you like to share identifying information withe adoptive family? Do you want to have ongoing contact with the adoptive family after the adoption? If so, how much? Would you like to have in person visits with your child and the adoptive family? Each type of adoption has its own benefits. Consider each option carefully before moving forward with an adoption plan. Additionally, it is helpful to choose an adoptive family that wants the same (or similar) type of adoption.
Do I want my child to be raised in a two-parent household?
One of the biggest reasons women consider adoption is because they are not able to provide a stable two-parent family for their baby On the other hand, there are birthparents who are open to considering a single man or single woman to raise their child.
Do I want my child to have siblings or be an only child?
There are many adoptive families who already have children. Some have biological children, some have adopted children and some have both. Is it important that your child have siblings? Or, do you wish that your child be the first (and possibly only) for the family? Remember, if the adoptive family does not currently have children, there is always the possibility they could have or adopt more in the future.
Is it important that there is a stay at home parent?
Some women consider adoption because they know they cannot be at home with their babies. In this situation, the idea of a stay at home parent to care for their child can be an attractive quality. Keep in mind, however, that there are thousands of families with two working parents who choose other alternatives for child care.
Do I want the adoptive family to be religious?
For some women considering adoption, religion is extremely important. To others, it may not be a factor at all. Consider the type of faith you wish your child to have. Is there a particular religion you would like them to be? Would you like the adoptive family to be the same religion as you? No matter what the answer, it's possible to find an adoptive family to suit your needs.
How important is the ethnicity of the adoptive family?
Many women placing a baby for adoption look for an adoptive family that is the same race as their child. This is especially common for biracial children, where the birthmother hopes to have at least one parent be the same race as her baby. Some women and families believe this helps the child "fit in" creates an opportunity to learn about their racial background. Other birthmothers are open to a family of any race or ethnicity.
Does location make a difference?
Living in the same state as the adoptive family is important and helpful to many birthmothers. If you want a fairly open adoption, choosing a family that is nearby will facilitate visits or reunions. If you'd like a closed adoption, living in the same state as the adoptive family may provide extra comfort that the child is being well cared for.